Sex addiction is now being recognized as a major social problem with similarities to the better-known conditions of alcoholism and drug addiction or compulsive gambling. We have become accustomed to hearing about sexual scandals in the news: not just scandals taking place in Hollywood or Washington or in professional sports, but scandals happening in our communities, in the workplace, and in our churches and schools. Sometimes we even experience shocking sexual discoveries in our own families, or involving other people we know personally. Often when these scandals come to light, we learn that the person has been engaging in the secret sexual behavior on a regular basis and sometimes that it has been going on for years. In some of these situations sex addiction is a central factor. These situations are better understood if we have some knowledge of sexual addiction. There is evidence to suggest that sex addiction has been a part of the human condition for a very long time and probably was already present when mankind first began to leave permanent records of contemporary life. Sexual addiction is suggested by Biblical stories like Sodom and Gamorah, the orgies of ancient Rome, and more recent historical figures like Marquis de Sade and Casanova. However, it has only been in the last two or three decades that a clearer understanding of sex addiction is being reached and inroads begun into effectively treating it. Starting in the late 1970's a psychologist and researcher, Patrick Carnes, Ph.D., was instrumental in the initial identification and treatment of sexual addiction. He has also been responsible for getting accurate information about it into the hands of professionals as well as contributing to public education through numerous books, national lectures and educational TV appearances. Among the books he has written on the subject are Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction, (a small book and a good way to get a quick overview), Don't Call It Love: Recovery from Sexual Addiction, (a larger volume with research findings and discussion of phases of recovery), and In the Shadows of the Net: Breaking Free of Compulsive Online Sexual Behavior (authored with Delmonico, Griffin and Moriarity). The site you are visiting contains a great deal of summarized information about sexual addiction; for those who desire a more in-depth study, click here to order the above books. Dr. Carnes describes how sexually addicted individuals have become addicted to the neuro-chemical changes that take place in the body during sexual behavior, much as a drug addict becomes hooked on the effects of smoking "crack" cocaine or "shooting" heroin. This is not to say that the expression of ourselves as sexual beings is an inherently addictive experience. As Carnes states, "Contrary to enjoying sex as a self-affirming source of physical pleasure, the sex addict has learned to rely on sex for comfort from pain, for nurturing or relief from stress." Thus sex, for the sex addict, becomes a drug, a mood-altering agent—something to which the addict returns again and again, creating an obsession of the mind and a compulsion in one's behavior. Based on a 10-year research study of 1500 sex addicts, Carnes concluded that about 8% of men and about 5% of women in the United States are sexually addicted. That translates into over 15 million men and women who suffer from this problem in the US alone. (Dr. Carnes’ more recent experience has led him to suggest that sex addiction occurs more equally among men and women, probably due to the Internet.) In the two and a half decades since Dr. Carnes' first book, his and other professionals’ efforts have significantly raised public consciousness about sexual addiction. During that period, the sexual scandals of Bill Clinton’s presidency prompted a massive media response which included educational segments on sexual addiction that reached into millions of homes. Sexual scandals of other prominent public figures continue to find their way into the public eye. And those living with this issue have told their stories on national talk shows and have written books about their struggles. Along with the slowly evolving consciousness of sex addiction there is some lessening of the stigma and some understanding that this is a condition that can be treated. But despite these advances, the general public, the media, and even treatment professionals are sometimes still uneducated or misinformed about this problem. Today many psychotherapists are able to recognize signs of sex addiction and bring this issue to the attention of their clients and patients who exhibit these symptoms. To treat sex addiction effectively, special training and experience are required, prompting some therapists without that background to consult with specialists or to refer their patients to specialists when they suspect this issue. Sadly, however, misinformation is still sometimes given by a few therapists without any knowledge of sex addiction. An example is when an uninformed male therapist, after hearing about a couple’s difficulties which include the symptoms of sex addiction, tells the female partner something like: “This is part of being a man. You need to understand his sexual needs. As long as he is looking on the Internet and not going out and doing it, it’s normal male behavior.” |
